Christmas Past Present and Future

Bi Polar Christmas.
The holidays are certainly hectic, but there is time for quiet reflection. Through the melee of shopping for gifts, or the opening of parcels there are continual flashbacks of past times.
As each season passes, we see the growth of our children. Every Christmas we add 2 more notches to the old barn post at the end of our kitchen and our experiences and recollections of Christmases pasts provide a festive milestone for their development and give us hope for the future.
Three Christmases ago, we were all sleep deprived, as our son would have struggled to be calm from Halloween ‘till New Years Day. Any change in his life would keep him up at night. We invested hours of planning, verbal preparation, picture schedules, and social stories to help him cope, in the hope that we would all get some sleep. Most children get excited around this time of year, but for a child with Autism needing the stability of a predictable routine each day, the holidays unfold into a nightmare of change and unpredictability.

Transition trauma.
After starting school in April, and a summer of Extended School Year, our 3-year-old son relied upon the regularity of a school day. Following a consistent routine would help him sleep, and we would see less teeth grinding, mouthing, and a decrease in his frustration levels meant less tantrums and screaming fits. Our family would dread long weekends and school holidays, as we knew he would become unbalanced, and literally fear sleep. In September of that year he completed a successful transition into a new classroom, with prior visits to take pictures of the classroom and meet hi new teachers, we were confident that we had done all we could to help him adjust. But the holidays are full of surprises, and he literally froze at the door of his newly ‘spookified” classroom. From there on we could read his sleep diary and see that any unexpected change be it seasonal decorations, fire drills, or 4 days out of school, would be enough to keep him awake for weeks. Now, our son is 6 and his sister is 5, and like many families with ‘typical’ children, we plan for the new school year by counting the ‘home’ days, and minimizing the impact of the return to school.
They both love ‘home’ days, but once back at school seeing their friends, they’ll love that too. We still rely on social stories and continual verbal reminders to help us all get through the days and nights, but in 3 years, the change is miraculous.

Extreme Gimmies.
Our son like many kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the pursuit of his “objects of desire” or obsessions are at times, extremely intense. Both our children sometimes display the shopping isle meltdowns, but we have a plan, which involves maintaining a wish list. Each child has a wipe-able pad on the fridge, items are written up, and requests are relayed to friends, family, and even Santa! Our reply to unreasonable demands is “Is it on your wish-list?” We know it’s not a long-term solution, and when they’re are older we’ll need some sort of reward chart for earnings and deficits toward their allowances, but for now the wish list works, and ‘toy-isle-tantrums’ are avoided.

Food barometer.
Mealtimes with folk on the spectrum can be tricky at the best of times, and “special meals” are viewed with absolute suspicion. The holidays are traditionally times when friends and family gather around the table, and enjoy home cooking with special recipes handed down through generations. “I don’t like fancy food,” said our son as we laid the table with red and green placemats this Christmas. Over the years, we have had many issues with food, and like many ASD kids, our son hated to try new food, and would become nauseous if exposed to foods with certain textures or smells. We had planned a ‘slightly festive’ meal; as we have learned from previous at-the-table experiences that we need to take small steps toward a ‘typical’ Christmas feast, but we are determined to ‘de-sensitize’ our whole family in order to allow us all the experience the traditions together.
We pulled crackers, told jokes while wearing paper hats, and our son amazed us by just by asking for many second helpings of the roast lamb, but refused to eat the brussel sprouts.
Yep, ‘typical’ feels good.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!